Two atoms are walking down the street, and one says to the other, “Wait, wait, we have to go back. I’ve lost an electron somewhere.” The second atom says, “Really? Are you sure?”To which the first atom replies, “Yes. I’m positive.”

………………………………..

New engineer: “How do you estimate how long a project will take?” Seasoned engineer: “I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi.”
New engineer: “Why pi?”
Seasoned engineer: “It ensures that all my budgets are irrational.”

……………………………….

Two Antennas got married – the wedding was lousy, but the reception was outstanding.

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